mase mule2 sy open blog ni..niat nak tulis pasal something yg sy rase xbest kt dalam ni..tp tetibe ade thought coming mengatakan bahwa sy xpatut tulis tuh kt sini.."don't share ur sadness here, nnt syaitan bace, die akan cube dr arah belakang depan kiri kanan utk menggoyangkan sy"

sy patut share mende laen yg lagi berfaedah utk sy reflek, n might be beneficial for others too..

penah x rase once bile kite dpt tau sesuatu tuh, tetibe mende tuh dtg bertubi2..mcm nk menguatkan n mcm nk bg 2nd 3rd 4th imunisasi (betul ke istilah utk cucuk2 imunisasi tu?once blaja mase form 5 dlu je skali,xbertubi2 dh pasti pasal immunisasi ni)

cth: ade smthg yg tetibe caught our eyes,n tetibe lps tuh asyek nampak mende tuh je,jumpe kat mane2 wlpn tanpa dirancang?

ade org kate: mmg sblm ni mende tuh mmg sntiasa ade, tp kite je yg xpasan..tuh la once bile kite dh prasan kite rase asyek jumpe je

tp hati sy kuat mengatakan (wah, ini mcm sy yg dlu..slalu berckp dgn hati sndri) "tak..kalo dr dlu dh ade,dh lame sy pasan"

but bile dh blaja ToK kt KMB dlu br sy prasan akan kewujudan phrase ini : "Seeing is believing or believing is seeing?"

ni,bile dh semakin tua ni..mula la rase mcm2 bersimpul siur dlm hati, dlm otak..ade yg elok folded membentuk bentuk2nya tersendri ade yg unfolded bersepah2 sane sini.

kenkdg rase NUMB je (ya Allah, jgnla keraskan hati sy..jgn Kau matikan hati ini..hidup suburkanla dgn makrifatMu)

dgr tp xrase pape
lihat tp xrase pape
bace tp xrase pape
rase tp xrase pape

see..sy mcm dh meleret lak ni..lari dr ape yg sy nk tulis awal2 td

baiklah, sy rase better sy statekan ape mende yg dtg bertubi2 kt sy semenjak due menjak terdekat ni

1) pasal mati
2) konsep jgn takut jgn sedih (la takhafuu wa la tahzanuu)

Dua mende ni sy dgr bertubi2, bkn dr org yg sama, bukan di tempat yg sama, bukan pada waktu yg sama tp mmg bertalu2 dlm mase 3minggu ni

even dlm tempoh satu session sy jumpe ayat Allah yg ckp pasal jgn takut jgn sedih ni dlm Quran kt mcm2 tempat..satu bile bincang pasal konsep iman, satu bile cite pasal perang uhud, satu bile ckp pasal hari akhirat..seperti bese bile penyampai bg no ayat,cepat2 sy bukak quran tgk ayat tuh,bile die ckp pasal laen pn bukak2 stil jumpe ayat yg same..Allah ckp jgn takut jgn sedih

sampai sy terpikir..ade pakatan ape2kah

tp sy xrase pakatan itu wujud

yg sy rase..Allah has sent them to me..bacakan ayat2 tuh utk sy

mungkin itu yg sy perlukan skang ni

ingt mati itu pasti

jgn sedih dgn ape yg dh lps

dan jgn takut dgn ape yg akan dtg

sbb ape yg dh lps n ape yg bakal berlaku sumenye aturan ALlah

n kene yakin..Allah know the best for us, for me

byk sgt yg sy blaja dlm tempoh spring hols ni..byk yg teramat byk..bile dlm perjalanan tu slalu refleks n karang ayat dlm ati,tp x terkongsi2 kt blog pn, or xtertulis2 dlm my own DD..byk2 sgt mende yg Allah ajar sy,kenkdg mende tuh dtg bertubi2,kenkdg mende tuh dtg tetibe,n kengkdg mende tuh dtg implicitly.

masya Allah
subhana Allah
alhamdulillah
astaghfirullah astaghfirullah astaghfirullah

"Our Lord! You have not created this without purpose, glory to You, Give us salvation from the torment of the Fire" [3:191]

it might take me 3 or 4 hours or might be a whole day for me to share what did i learn here{ what did i observe, what did knock my heart, what happened to my soul my heart,how Allah has arranged my own syllabus in a beautiful way(kenkdg menyakitkan juge), how the "Jgn takut dan jgn sedih"concept cherishes muslim life}..but i really2 want to share it with somebody..hope i could beramal with my knowledge n understanding, n i hope i do could tell people,share with them the beauty of living as hamba Allah,hope Allah will always give me strength to stay istiqamah with this deen,will always show and guide me to the right way, accept my repentance, firm my heart in this deen..indeed, knowing Allah is the greatest gift ever gifted to me

td after klas solat kt ex-locker room (kt tepi toilet,dlu penuh dgn locker skang dh xde locker so lapang je)..tgh2 solat tuh ade la dgr org sembang2 kt blakang tu (rasenye kt dpn pintu toilet)..ckp die freezing in her house la,pakai stokin dlm umah la da da da (ish btape xkhusyuk nye sy..faghfirli ya Allah)

tetibe sy rase diorg pasan sy solat kt situ,n trus bisik2 sambil menyalahkan diri sndri n pastu ilang..

sy teruskan je la solat mcm bese

lps solat trus menuju ke computer centre sbb nk siapkan tutorial ptg tu gk (sy internet-dependent person, sy xbole study or buat keje dgn kusi dan meja shj)

toktektoktek dpn komp tetibe ade org duk sblh..sy knl die,budak chem gk,sy rase die spanish,die amat cantek (org uk xcantek sgt)

die tny sy,sy ke yg dlm bilik tu(bilik ke?ntah xsure) td,n trus die ckp sory sbb die kate die xpasan pn sy ade kt situ,n sory sory da da da

ape yg bole sy ckp xpe xpe

sy pn xkesah je,lgpn sy bukannye knl pn sape yg berbicara itu

sy pn tahu diorg xpaham pn erti solat tuh sbnrnye

tp nampak la kesungguhan mereka menghormati org laen

tp utk org islam yg solat,(do we really know what we r doing?)

kt surau sndri pn ade je org smbng2,gelak2 padahal ade org tgh solat

bile azan pn masih bising2 buat xtau

n bole je sambung buat keje laen tanpa mengendahkan azan tuh

betapa xsensitifnya hati kite kadang2

betapa kite xmerasakan kewujudan tuhan tu

tahu tuhan ade,tp xsedar tuhan ade

Ya Allah Ya tuhan kami, kami menzalimin diri kami sndri,maka ampunkanlah kami

La ilaha illa anta, subhanaka inni kuntu minnal dzolimin

rasuah (in malay)

rasyuah ( in arabic)

corruption (in english)

so people

before pointing to others

claiming they practise rasuah

have a self diagnosis

if they so,

how about you?

are you sure you are not?

hey people

come on la

you better check yourself

prevent people from doing so

yet

have yourself clean first ya =]

p.s. corruption could happen anywhere, by anybody

i am not saying this out of nothing

just realising something seems to be not ok happening

but i do not know the hukum

just my heart do feel it is corrupted