Salam,

Esok isnin. Dr rabu-today sy temankan kwn bw pelajar ke kuale. Skrg (10:19 pm 04032012) bas baru sampai sek bawa budak2 hoki tournament hoki sbp zon utara kt mckk. Tp sy smpi BD kul 2 lebih lg sbb ada hal yg my friend kena setelkan. Alhamdulillah Allah masih bg kesempatan utk menghirup nafas kt dunia ni n smg sy boleh teruskan hidup sbg seorang muslim dan mukmin. Smlm masa benda tuh jd sy xfikir apa2 pun. Tp bila fikir2 balik semula harini sbrnya kalo lebih dr 2 saat benda tuh berlaku smlm mesti hari ni sy dh xmenjalankan proses respirasi dh. I got goosebumps kalo fikir balik kejadian tuh.

Ok2..sbnrnya tahun ni sy kena ngajar 6 kelas. (selalunya 5). Dlm byk2 kelas yg sy ajar dr sy mula2 jd cikgu secara rasmi, ada 1 kelas ni yg buat sy blank. Sy xtau kenapa everytime sy masuk kelas tuh sy rasa pelik. Mcm ada perang dingin cikgu-students and I'm keep thinking what should I do for the becoming days (sblm diorg SPM).

Got text msg from my ex-student.
"Assalamualaikum teacher. Teacher, my mom asked my help to teach my std 2 brother. But somehow, everytime I'm teaching him, he seems to be not focus. And I will start to scold him. I feel bad about it teacher. When you were teaching me, there were times when I main2. But you were just still so nice to me. N I'm acting like this to my own brother. Teacher, I'm letting the kemarahan to take over myself. Isn't kemarahan is actually comes from satan? Teacher, how do I get to be as calm as u are?"

I love her. Sy amat bersyukur krn dia berfikir dan dia sentiasa memperbaiki diri dia. Saya? Ada jawapan wahai cik saya?

Sbnrnya sy rasa tidak pandai marah students adalah kelemahan sy. Tp the students appreciate it pula. Yes, bukan sng nk deal ngan people ni. Kena banyak n pandai main perasaan. And bila perasaan get involved, yes I failed.

Apa motif n apa kesimpulan entri ni? Mcm xtersusun lak. Tp ok, sy akan mula semangt baru utk g sek esok. Allah dh bg sy peluang utk trus berjuang, so kene trus berjuang. Anak-anak yg dlm kelas sy are the potentials. Jgn lepaskan potential yg ada. Ok, post je la dulu, nnt kalo perlu edit sy edit kemudian.

Another inspiring words I got from my student;

"cikgu ki nak cikgu tahuu..ki sayang sgt kat cikgu..

betul ki tak tipuu..

cikgu help me in such many ways

really appreciate tht"

Emm, bila baca ni membuatkan saya lebih bersemangat untuk terus berjuang..
Bukan untuk pujian tp sy rasa ini menunjukkan anak-anak ni perlukan bantuan kita untuk tunjuk arah..jgn biarkan mereka sendiri sbb dugaan dunia remaja ni sgt kuat.
Rasa bersalah lak xcurahkan sepenuhnya kt mereka..lps ni patut berusaha dengan lebih gigih untuk tolong anak2 ni..wpn sedikit je usaha kita, iA ada kesan di hati mereka.

wow..last entry 8 jan 2011. Alhamdulillah Allah masih bagi ruang, masa dan peluang untuk terus hidup dan terus berjuang di muka bumi Allah ini. Yes, 2011 dah nak sampai ke hujungnya. Last entry tulis kunun2 nya sibuk ngan minit mesyuarat, yet now pun still in progress of menaip minit juga. Never ending mesyuarats.

Still kt sek eventhough no more students are here. My United Souls dah balik ke tempat asal masing2. These United Souls people were sooo mcm2. 2thn dgn diorg berbagai rasa jiwa raga. But yet masa diorg tgh exam i felt soo free. So calm n xde rasa apa2 di hati. After they finished all their 3 Chemistry papers, the feeling ..... (can't be described)

Today, after a day being they become ex-SABDArians..i got a text msg from one of my ex-student.

"D : Love u sooo much teacher

Me: How's life as ex-secondary-school-student?

D : Surprisingly, missing SABDA. This afternoon I did Chemistry. Just a bit. Miss ur class teacher

Me : Waa so terharu. Thought everyone hv thrown their books away. There were not much I did in class. No fancy2 gadgets or slides, but lots of love in my heart. Sorry if I were not as spttnya tcer to be

D : U r the best chemistry teacher I cn ever asked for. No way I'm throwing my books. Finish spm is not the end of everything. Plus, u make me love chem teacher! Thank u so much"

Ok, ini mungkin perasaan yg Mrs. Punia ckp kt KMB dulu. Mmg layan perangai students yg mcm2, students yg xsama mcm zaman kita sek dlu..kenkdg buat saya rasa sgt "terkoyak-koyak" atau "carik rabak" bak kata opah saya. Masa zaman saya praktikal kt dlu mmg rasa bertimbun2 kasih sayang kt students. Tp bila masuk SABDA sikit2 perasaan tuh mcm ditimbus2 melayan kerenah students, parents, kerja2 dokumentasi, events etc.

Thanks D, u raise me up again. 2 hari lps baru je saya terfikir-fikir apa la yg akan jd thn dpn. Saya rasa dugaan mcm lg berat je because next yr 5th former lain lak trend dia. Walau apa pun yg terjadi, redah je dila. Do your work ikhlas lillahi taala. Make them orang not beruang.

To all United Souls, all the best. Be good to yourself (as u have to make sure u are preparing to enter Jannah)

* Saya salin kembali msg2 supaya saya tahu kt mana nk cari kalau telefon sy rosak lg. Mengambil pengajaran sbb terlalu byk benda yg xdpt dr access kembali as sume benda simpan dlm fon selama 5thn penggunaan. Dan telefon itu tetibe rosak.

it's the beginning of the year..means, long lists of meeting..
and yg sakitnya, lots of minit mesyuarat to be composed also..
aiyokk..when there were so many works to do, what adilah did was always out-of-the-list works..
huhu never changing since school days

i think i should go for a secretarial course